The Other Side of Healing
"The process of assessing how you feel about the things you own, identifying those that have fulfilled their purpose, expressing your gratitude, and bidding them farewell, is really about examining your inner self, a rite of passage to a new life." ~Marie Kondo
Let’s focus on a part of healing that is often overlooked or avoided.
It is the part where you outgrow a version of yourself that now no longer exists.
It’s very helpful and motivating to think about all of the things that you will gain from starting therapy and focusing on your mental health. You can list the ways in which you will grow, the positive changes that you will experience, and the worthwhile feelings that you will gain.
The other side of the coin, if you will, is the act of releasing; letting go; moving on.
As we are taking strides to reach the place that we want to be, there is the simultaneous experience of moving away from where we once were.
This is the part of the healing process that can cause people to hesitate or even decide to not take that next step.
Let’s be real; it can feel uncomfortable, even painful. The process can stir up a myriad of emotions, which can feel scary.
Think about it this way, though. This type of change is inevitable in life.
Here are a list of examples from nature of the evolution process:
A plant outgrowing its pot
A caterpillar entering a chrysalis to later leave as a butterfly
Trees casting off their leaves in autumn
The climb out of a valley up to a mountaintop
These uncomfortable points in the journey are what allow us to reach our full potential of growth!
Reminders For Growing on Your Mental Health Journey:
Be Gentle and Kind with Yourself
These changes can often feel confusing, uncomfortable, and unsettling. This is very common during this process. Practicing self-compassion is very important.
It’s Okay to Change
People are sometimes surprised when they one day look up and are unable to recognize parts of themselves after they have been working on their mental health, or even other areas of their lives. Expect that certain behaviors, beliefs, and preferences will change. This can be alarming for you and for others in your life. This, however, is a very normal part of the healing process.
It’s Okay to Say Goodbye
As you get closer to where you want to be and achieve more of the goals that you have set for yourself, you will find more and more that certain relationships, situations, places, etc. just no longer align with who you are as a person. Releasing those things is the healthiest and kindest thing that you can do in the long term.
Express Gratitude Often
You wouldn’t be where you are now without the experiences and the knowledge gained from the earlier versions of you. Acknowledge what you have been through. Identify the wisdom you have earned. Say thank you.
I hope that this has been helpful.
As Always, Be Well!
~Jessica
P.S.
I highly recommend reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. The methods outlined in her book are specific to our space and possessions; however, I believe that the philosophy she offers can be applied to our lives overall.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this topic! Please share a comment on my Instagram @JHMentalHealth to let me know if this resonated with you. If you’ve read the recommended book, or plan to pick up a copy, use a book emoji in your comment so I know you’ve read this!
Resources:
National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial “988”
Text Crisis Line: Text “HELLO” to 741741
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services) Hotline: 1-800-662-4357
Domestic Violence Support Hotline: 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)
Caregiver Help Desk: 1-855-227-3640
NY Project Hope (COVID-19 Resources)
