Hold on! Before you read further, make sure that you have read Getting Started With Therapy Part 1 and Getting Started With Therapy Part 2 !!!
Getting Started
Hooray! You have found a therapist (or 3) and are trying to feel out if you are a good match or not. You’re almost there. Now, however, you still have the matter of what you are supposed to expect and do on your part as the client/patient!
Below, I’ve put together a list of things that can help starting therapy be a smoother process. Always defer to the instructions of your therapist. Dependent on their Therapeutic Approach and Style, they may have their own requests of you. These are just tips that I believe contribute to a successful time in therapy.
Reflect on your expectations for therapy; how can it help your concerns?
Are you looking for a healing journey? Or are you just looking to talk some things out for a different perspective? Or, are you hoping to follow step-by-step directives and be done with therapy after a few months? The answer to these questions, and others you may come up with on your own will determine your expectation for how long you might be in therapy, as well as how active of a role you expect yourself and/or the therapist to take. It can be very helpful for the therapist to know if you anticipate treatment to take a few months or for as long as it takes. It is good for you to know your expectations for outcomes; will you see a significant decrease in your symptoms? Or, will you be better able to cope with certain situations whenever they come up? Maybe it is that you will feel resolution about a long-term unresolved issue. I strongly recommend writing this down before you start meeting with any therapist.
Get a journal
It can be a notebook. It can be the notes app in your phone. It can be video or audio recordings. I recommend recording your thoughts from the very beginning of therapy and continue ongoing. There are also mental health apps that help with tracking mood, or provide journaling prompts.
Why it is useful:
-Everything related to your therapy sessions will be in one place
-You will be able to look back at your progress over time
-Writing out our thoughts is another powerful way to heal and process
List of things that you can do:
Track your mood and/or symptoms (daily, weekly, monthly)
Write about experiences and/or situations relevant to your therapy in detail to organize your thoughts
Keep your thoughts that you would like to bring up in therapy, or remember after a session
Do your “homework” from your therapy sessions
Document your progress; note the ways that you are changing and/or improving
Stay curious
Be ready to learn. Be prepared to look at things differently than from what you are currently. Question everything (even the therapist, don’t be afraid to ask questions)! Try to do research in between sessions. Really see if things are making sense for you. Consider the idea that it may not be everyone else, but you. Or, that people that you respect or trust may have contributed to what you’re experiencing. Maybe it’s your lifestyle, or your job, or your environment. Realize that anything is possible, and the more willing you are to consider every possibility, the more success you will have with processing things.
Be open to change
It is highly unlikely that when you start therapy that there won’t be at least ONE THING in your life that you will have to change. You may need to stop doing something, or start doing something, or change the way you think about something. You might even have to change your relationships with certain people, or not associate with others at all anymore. It will ultimately be up to you; however, being aware of this before starting therapy is important. Change to the uncomfortable and/or distressing symptoms you are experiencing will usually cost the price of you needing to change other things first.
Note: You may or may not need to try medication.
Be active
Anything that you can do in between sessions is great. Your therapist might assign you homework. You can also read relevant material. You might be working with other professionals that are relevant to what you are working on in therapy. Try the things that your therapist suggests. Reflect on what you have been discussing and learning in between the sessions.
Take it seriously
I think that not taking therapy seriously can come from a fear of trying something new. It can also be an attitude of self-defeat, giving up before you’ve even started. Give therapy a fair shot! Don’t go to your sessions treating it like it’s a joke, or making fun of your therapist, “Oh, they don’t know what they’re talking about.” How effective can it really be if you go into your sessions with no intent on being honest or discussing the real issues; or, not paying what is happening in your sessions any mind until the next time that you go, or not trying what your therapist is recommending? If you don’t get the results that you want, you can discuss this with your therapist later; maybe the type of therapy, or the therapist, isn’t a good fit. You will never know, however, until you really try.
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I have one more set of tips for you! This is something that your therapist will really be able to help you with, however, I don’t think that it hurts to mention this now.
Therapy encourages us to think about the world and our lives in often completely new ways. It is only natural for there to be speed bumps as you get started. The sooner we remove the things that slow us down in our healing process, the better!
I really like how this life coach explains these four common behaviors (listed below) that individuals may experience once starting to work on sensitive issues, that can become barriers to our progress:
The Four Binding Behaviors (The Calling by Rha Goddess)
Complaining - Be mindful of a proclivity to express annoyance or dissatisfaction with what’s going on, without a plan or any intention to resolve it. Complaining just to complain is not a solution, and won’t get you the results that you want.
Blaming/Judging (of self and others) - One pattern is getting stuck with either putting the emphasis and focus outside of yourself. You become fixated with this person or thing that is the reason for you being unable to do something, have something, or achieve something.
Alternatively, judging yourself can cause you to become paralyzed.
Justifying - This is when you rationalize the “why” of something happening to the point that you believe that it should be accepted as valid. This is a form of making excuses.
Avoiding - This behavior occurs when you deep down don’t want to deal with something, so you shift (unintentionally or intentionally) focus from the issue to something else. You can mislead others, or cause more issues for yourself if this goes on for too long.
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I hope that you’ve found my guide helpful! If you use any of my tips, I’d love to hear about it!
You can email me at Contact@JHMentalHealth.com using the subject “Starting Therapy Guide”.
I wish you success on your therapy journey!
~Jessica