Staying Present When You Dislike Your Present
“Patience is a bitter plant, but it has sweet fruit." -Proverb
Can you relate to being in a space of not currently being where you want to be in life?
I often refer to being present and practicing mindfulness. That can be challenging in itself; our minds are wont to wander into the future, or to ruminate on the past.
Now imagine the practice of being in the present moment when you want nothing more but to be somewhere else.
We’ve all been there; where things are outside of our control. We all experience frustrating times.
There’s something that you’re waiting on;
Things just aren’t going your way;
Something big is out of your hands.
What does that feel like in your body?
Do you notice tension in your neck and shoulders?
Does it feel like a heaviness in your stomach?
Can it sometimes manifest as the sensation of your skin crawling, or like wanting to jump out of your body?
However it feels for you during this time in your life, acknowledge it and be compassionate to yourself about it.
It’s okay to say when something doesn’t feel good for us.
It’s also okay for us to sit with those angry, sad, anxious, etc. feelings.
After you have acknowledged and experienced your feelings (and you may need to come back to this several times), here are three tips for navigating such a season:
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is still the answer. In this case, practicing gratitude is a form of mindfulness that could serve you very well. Being able to acknowledge where you’ve been compared to now; how far you have come when you look back is helpful.
Expression of Your Feelings
Having multiple outlets can be effective. Talk to your therapist. Vent to your family or friends (with permission). Journal. Express through art or dance. Find ways to regularly allow these feelings to pass through your body.
Visualization
Visualize where you want to be. See it; feel it. Create visual reminders where you will see them often.
Make time to visualize how you are moving closer to where you want to be by reviewing the actions you are currently taking. Celebrate small wins.
It is possible that your present situation is not a matter of patience, but one of acceptance. Sometimes, the things that we experience are permanent- no amount of mindfulness or visualization will change the circumstances.
In this case, be especially kind to yourself. Radical Acceptance takes time and intention.
I hope that this was helpful.
As Always, Be Well!
~Jessica
Resources:
Text Crisis Line: Text “HELLO” to 741741
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services) Hotline: 1-800-662-4357
Domestic Violence Support Hotline: 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)
Caregiver Help Desk: 1-855-227-3640
NY Project Hope (COVID-19 Resources)
