“True love always liberates.” -Dr. Gary Chapman
Dr. Gary Chapman shares his theory about romantic relationships in his book, “The 5 Love Languages”. He believes that there are five emotional love languages in which individuals speak and understand emotional love. He explained that we each have a primary love language (I list them below).
I often refer to this book when issues in romantic partnerships are a major source of distress and a focus in therapy. Many people have found adapting this theory into their relationships, and not just romantic ones, to be very helpful.
Words of Affirmation
Verbal compliments
Encouraging words
Communicating kindly
Statements of appreciation
Respectful expressions and requests
Physical Touch
Holding hands
Embracing
Kissing
Shoulder rub or squeeze
Massage
Sex
Quality Time
Focused, undivided attention
Uninterrupted, intentional time
Quality conversation
Meaningful activities
Dates
Acts of Service
Serving
Helping
Anticipating needs
Gifts
Tangible reminders (non-monetary or monetary)
Visual symbols
Financial investments
Thoughtful tokens purchased, found, or made
Do you see a love language that stands out to you? I believe that we can have a top 2, or 3. I also believe that we can appreciate being shown love via all of the love languages.
You can discover your own love language by taking the online quiz.
I’d love to know what your love language is! Visit @JHMentalHealth, leave a comment on this post using a “heart” ❤️ emoji, and share your love language!
Philautia
Something that I’ve stumbled across online recently that I love is the remix on the five love languages- applying your primary love language to yourself.
Philautia - The Greek word for Self-Love
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, how about a challenge? Show yourself some love!
Ideas for practicing Philautia in each love language:
Words of Affirmation:
Write yourself a love letter.
Quality Time:
Watch your favorite movie. [Put your phone on DND]
Gifts:
Buy yourself some flowers, or chocolates.
Physical Touch:
Schedule a massage.
Acts of Service:
Make yourself (or order in) Valentine’s Day brunch or dinner.
Do you plan to try one of the suggestions? I’d love to know how you celebrated loving yourself! Visit @JHMentalHealth, leave a comment on this post using a “rose”🌹 emoji, and let me know how you did!
February is Black History Month!
Have you tried Liberate yet? It’s a meditation app with BIPOC peoples in mind.
Here are some suggestions for Self-Empowerment and Self-Love Meditations from Black Spiritual and Wellness Guides on Insight Timer:
Nadine Russell - Self-Love Affirmations
Koya Webb - Remember Who You Truly Are
Lalah Delia - Inner Gardening Care
Lalah Delia - Taking Your Power Back
Alexandra Love - I Am Abundant
As always, be well!
~Jessica